Who are the best Scandinavians?

As with any neighbouring countries, the Scandis have their own inter country rivalries littered with national jokes and snipes directed well below the belt. In the same way the Belgians are the laughing stock of the Benelux, so the Fins are clearly the oddballs of Scandinavia. But where do the stereotypes and national clichés come from. Who threw the first punch and who's currently regarded as being the heavyweight champion of the Scandi's.

 
The rivalry between the Danes and the Swedes is seeded in an age old war that stems back to the 18th century. All these wars have brought about a classic neighbouring country rivalry that sees the Danes call Malmo, the start of Asia. They are very similar but the Swedes can be said are a more patriotic people on the whole and the Danes take themselves less serious, are somewhat louder and goofier and more in for a joke or two. That has also been my experience of meeting and befriending many Danish and Swedish people. My Swedish friends always had their national flag on display all around the house and even on the dinner table, and were extremely patriotic supporters of their national sports teams, and in particular their Ice Hockey team. A very proud people. 

Swedes sort of see themselves as superior to the rest of Scandinavia. There's definitely an arrogance about them. Now, you can see why the Swedish women might feel that way. Having been to Sweden numerous times and having had a Swedish girlfriend, they have every right to feel proud and smug. However, Swedish men on the other hand...known to be exceptionally boring. One Swedish friend of mine once even claimed he was allergic to chocolate, which his mother vehemently denied.   

The Finns are awkwardly peculiar, or as someone else might put it, just weird. The most baltic Scandinavians are incredibly bad at small talk and will rather stay silent unless they have something relevant to say. A country with more saunas than people, the Finns are notoriously silent and very big on personal space, which is kind of a contradiction if you ask me. I don't mind you being fully naked, and practically sitting on my lap, sweating, but don't even think of talking to me, I'm not comfortable with that. 

Finland. Obvs. 

Being so close to the Russians also doesn't help liven up their personality of course. You can't share a 1300km border with Vladimir Voldemort and his army of death eaters and not have it rub off on you somehow. 

The Norwegians are probably the enigma. The little, rich brother of the Swedes. Outdoorsy and kind, jolly and creative. Their language also sounds most like drunk toddler. The Swedes make fun of them and others don't really care enough to have an opinion. The Norwegians seem to get on with everyone and they have the worlds longest road tunnel, so you know...

Then finally we have the Danes. Generally found either drunk, enjoying life, being overweight and felling free or all of the above. One thing is for sure, they wear their emotions on their sleeves and are usually having a good time. Seen by the other Scandinavian countries as the fat and slightly handsy Uncle Peder, the Danes don't really give a shit what the others think. The reason they're so jolly and drink more than normal is probably because their southern border is with ze Germans, possibly the most unhumourous collections of peoples anywhere on the planet.

So, I think if you'd have to pick which one of the Scandi's is "the best", it would be a close run thing between the Norwegians and the Danes but on the basis of their happy go lucky character and their rotundness, I'd go for the Danskerne! 

Vi er de bedste skandinaver og resten kan pisse af. Skål!